A June, 2017 television interview with Diane Medved by CBN’s Paul Strand reminds couples that long-term consequences of a split are far worse than addressing the bad feelings of the moment–and those painful feelings will likely improve anyway if you stay put. Below is the accompanying commentary.
It’s Time We Start Shouting “Don’t Divorce!”
WASHINGTON—Psychologist Diane Medved has written a book whose title shouts out a command: “Don’t Divorce!”
That’s because most divorces end up doing a lot more damage than people expect and don’t often bring the solutions, peace and comfort they hope for.
She told CBN News one absolutely stunning fact that should give any couple pause: research shows that if troubled spouses will just gut it out and stick together through the tough times, a few years down the road, three-fourths of them reveal their marriages have become happy. Three-Fourths.
From ‘Do Your Duty’ To ‘Do Your Own Thing’
Medved stated there’s been a sea-change that’s led to a divorce culture. America’s gone from the World War Two era “Do Your Duty” generation to “Do Your Own Thing” Baby-Boomer, Generation X and Millennial generations. People have become such consumers, that they believe their happiness and satisfaction with a product – even if that product is a spouse – matters more than anything else.
We also now live in a PC culture where everyone feels its verboten to judge anyone, so few people are willing to tell their friends or loved ones, “Don’t Divorce! You’re going to do a lot of damage to a lot of people.”
Good for the Kids? Don’t Believe It
Medved told CBN News this is especially true of children. They aren’t as resilient as divorcing couples want to believe. Their splitting can cause deep trauma for their children, steal the kids’ innocence and leave them more likely to divorce themselves, or even fear to wed because they feel so unsure their marriage will last.
And nowadays there’s even a whole divorce industry that’s grown up that pushes troubled spouses to give up their marriage because there’s a lot of money to be made when they do split up.
But Medved’s book is filled with many ways husbands and wives can work out their differences, change their attitudes and gain skills to make their marriage thrive.
In fact, the sub-title of “Don’t Divorce” is “Powerful Arguments for Saving and Revitalizing Your Marriage.”
It’s Not a Consumer Product, It’s a Family Project
Medved knows from her own life how to keep a marriage strong as she’s been married for three decades to nationally-syndicated radio talk show host Michael Medved.
The psychologist recommends people look at marriage more as a lifelong “family project” rather than a relationship based on feelings. Feelings will morph and change, but a vow and commitment can be a rock-solid foundation on which to build a lifetime together.