In an interview with National Review, Diane Medved reveals why she wrote “Don’t Divorce” rather than a book on puppies… (uncut version here)
Happy or Not, “Don’t Divorce” is an Eye-
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If you or someone you know faces a troubled marriage, divorce might seem like a reasonable option. After all, shows like Bravo’s Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce and HBO’s Divorce normalize the dissolution of marriage, suggesting divorce brings a happy new beginning. Celebrities glamorize it; Gwyneth Paltrow’s “conscious uncoupling” makes divorce seem trendy and enlightened.
“Enough!” says psychologist Diane Medved. If you’re hurtling down the road to divorce, put on the brakes! Don’t let your spouse, your friends, or the “divorce industry” rush you into ending your marriage. Take a deep breath and read this book.
In fact, all married people (happy and not) will improve their–and others’–marriages by understanding the startling points in Don’t Divorce, such as:
- “Divorce magnets” in the workplace, on the internet (including porn) and surrounding you in media pressure all married couples toward dissatisfaction.
- The divorce rate was never 50%, and is much less than at its 1981 peak now–but that fake 50% figure kicks around, normalizing divorce because “everybody does it.”
- A “Divorce Industry” ranging from counselors, coaches, legal advisors and even realtors and movers profit from your split and– with the best intentions– funnel couples toward a decree.
- Divorce scars children so badly that many fear committing to marriage–driving the average age at first marriage upward to nearly 30.
- The line “children are resilient” is a cruel excuse–they’re not. And worse, two-thirds of divorces occur in low-conflict homes where the children are floored to hear their family is breaking up–never again able to trust the truth of what they live.
- The most-used exit lines like “we’ve grown apart,” “I don’t love you anymore,” “I’ve got to pursue something/someone else” and a dozen others don’t hold water, as Don’t Divorce shows.
- Shocking research reveals that nearly three out of four spouses who rate themselves as “unhappy” in their marriages but stick it out say they’re “happy” or “very happy” just five years later.
- Divorced people may “make lemonade” from their sour experiences–but invariably recall their divorces as a horrible episode to endure. Dr. Medved exposes the myth of the “good divorce.”
Don’t Divorce is the antidote to a pro-divorce culture, empowering you to revive (or refresh) your marriage and capture the potential of your life’s most precious alliance. A most useful tool for therapists, clergy and caring friends and family.